About Me

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My name is Stephanie. I'm 15 years old. I live in a small town and I have a pretty average life with a not so average past. I'm fine with that.

As of right now...

My name is Stephanie... My best friends, Catie and Kelley are super cool. My twin sister's name is Christina. I don't sleep a lot and when I do I don't sleep well. I have lots of nightmares that I never wake up from and weird dreams that linger in my brain. I'm not ashamed of my past, but don't expect me to broadcast it everywhere. In fact, I may not even share it at all. I'll never admit I like someone to their face. I'll never be happy with the way I look. I'll never have the self-confidence I seek in others. There's not much to tell... but that's my name.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Sweet Dreams

I woke up today and immediately wanted to go back to sleep.
And so I did.
My dream continued, and let me tell you: never in my life have I wanted to be a whore... but this dream was quite interesting.
In this dream, there were three to four guys whom I made out with.
Not all at the same time...

But I kept switching off. One guy I met in the line for the grocery store bathroom which resembled a warehouse cellar. Two (or three) others I met in my house.
You see, I was in one of those situations like the Real World or Big Brother where you're in a house with a bunch of other strangers... although there were no cameras in this house and there was only one bed and a couch. It was the smallest apartment I've ever seen. I'm pretty sure someone slept on the bathroom floor.
It was a weird dream, and when I woke up for good I saw I had a text from my boyfriend 'Good Morning'
I'm not sure he'd approve of my dream.

Thursday, July 22, 2010


It's always all about her.
She wants to know what I think
but she won't take it into consideration.
She wants me to give her advice
but she won't listen to what I say.
She wants what she wants
but she won't give me a thing.
It's always all about her.
She cries and I don't know what to do
but still she does it in front of me.
She laughs and I laugh too
but she insists it's her jokes making us laugh.
She yells and I cower
but that doesn't stop her voice.
It's always all about her.
She can be annoying and rude
but she's my best friend.
She can make the stupidest decisions on Earth
but she's my best friend.
She can be self-centered and ignorant
but she's my best friend.
It's always all about her... to me.
My name is Stephanie.
Right now I'm feeling... weird.
There's not a word for it, no way to describe it.
Today's Thursday, the 22nd of July, and I'm not feeling... well.
Maybe it was the major bike ride I had earlier, and it just tuckered me out. Or maybe it was the food I ate, my plate was a little full. Or perhaps it's just his face in my mind.
He isn't allowed in my thoughts. But somehow, he always seems to show up.
I'm not too interested in sharing how he is at the moment, but chances are eventually I'll spill.
That's just how I am I guess.
I'll be going to the mall on Saturday with my boyfriend, Cody, and I'm kind of excited since he says I'll get to pick out what size jeans he wears. Finally a guy who will wear just the right amount of skinny in his jeans.
I plan to buy a blue tanktop that I saw. It's amazing. I've been loving it more and more for the past two weeks. When I get it, I think I might just wear it for a week. Would anyone notice? Would anyone care?
Let's hope not.