This is ... I hate this.
I hate this more than you could know.
Well, you may know...
I just hate this.
He's absolutely perfect for me.
And I've been driving myself crazy for the past two weeks just thinking about him non-stop, constantly wondering and daydreaming and questioning if he could ever like me back.
Heck, love me back.
I've never said it before. . . I've never Actually been in love before. But I swear, if this isn't it, then I never want to meet the real thing. This is tormenting enough. It's too hard to be away from him every day, and every day I don't talk to him or he doesn't talk to me, feels like weeks and months. I just want to be around him all the time. I love him. And only Melanie knows anything about it, because she's the only one of my friends who doesn't know him. I couldn't tell anyone else... and it's killing me.
I want to tell him.
I want to tell him that I love him and just be happy with him, and I want him to love me back. It's just so ... nerve-wracking.
I could never say it.
I'm too chicken.
Maybe one day though.
As of right now...
My name is Stephanie... My best friends, Catie and Kelley are super cool. My twin sister's name is Christina. I don't sleep a lot and when I do I don't sleep well. I have lots of nightmares that I never wake up from and weird dreams that linger in my brain. I'm not ashamed of my past, but don't expect me to broadcast it everywhere. In fact, I may not even share it at all. I'll never admit I like someone to their face. I'll never be happy with the way I look. I'll never have the self-confidence I seek in others. There's not much to tell... but that's my name.